Getting older means getting crazier

Recently, the boys were in the husband's cousin's wedding.  Because she had been in 1,000 weddings herself, she decided she wouldn't torture her friends.

Instead, she decided to torture family.

I jest, I jest.  We loved being a part of her day.

Anyway, the night of the rehearsal, the cousin was the epitome of calm. She's a lawyer (read: pays extreme attention to detail).

(NECESSARY TANGENT: I learned a lot of stupid shit wedding "rules" when I was getting married.  And, because I'm an idiot, I tend to turn into my mother at times and lovingly give unsolicited advice.)

So, she had 3 little boys and 3 little girls as her attendants. She had paired them in such a way that one tall kid was with one short.

Because I am an idiot, did I say:

A. That looks great!  You're brilliant!
B. Look at those adorable dresses!  You really planned this well!
C. Why don't you put tall kids with tall kids and short kids with short?

The answer is:  C

Her response:  Well, because of their ages, I thought it'd be better to have an older child walk down with a younger one.  So, they'll actually, you know, walk down the aisle.

Oh.  Of COURSE that makes sense!  Shut up, Lea!

The kids walked down the aisle with no issues (see?  she's brilliant).  The bride got ready to walk down the aisle with her dad.

Now, one of the stupid rules I learned when I got married is that it's bad luck to walk down the aisle more than once.  Meaning, you should only go down the aisle on the day of your wedding.  (Note:  my aunt took my place during my rehearsal.)

Did I:

A.  Keep my mouth shut.  This is just a silly rule that means nothing.
B.  Keep my mouth shut.  It's not my wedding.
C.  Keep!  My!  Mouth!  Shut!
D.  Say:  Bride!  It's bad luck to go down the aisle during your rehearsal!  Don't!  Go!

Yes, D.  Of course, D.

She paused.  I distinctly remember this pause.  It was one of those pauses that makes you think you've just stormed into a quiet room.  Naked.  In the middle of a presentation.  In front of a million people.  Like, what are you doing here naked, crazypants?  Don't you realize you're naked?  In public?  In a church?  In front of a priest??   And your FATHER???!

She finally said:  Yeah, I don't believe in that.
The helpful wedding coordinator added:  I've done thousands of weddings and I've never heard that.

Oh.  My.  Gawd.  Of COURSE you don't believe in that!  Shut!  UP!  Lea!!

Older = no filter.  It's horrifying, really.