Put a little Krazy Glue on it

So, the other day, I was cutting an apple for my 6-year-old. I had gotten the apple cut in half, was working on quartering it, when I decided to slice my thumb along with the apple. Which, of course, resulted in frenzied bleeding. I had never cut myself that badly before. Sure, I've nicked myself plenty while cutting vegetables. I'm particularly dangerous with a peeler. But this was a gusher. I was slightly worried I'd have to get stitches.

I paced around the room, applying pressure to the wound with a paper towel. I consulted my inner MacGyver, trying to figure out how I could fashion a tourniquet with one good hand and some Silly Bandz. I put my SIL on alert. If I had to drive myself to the ER, I needed her to take the boys as the husband was out of town. Eventually, I got the bleeding under control and had to tell my son I was very sorry, but he wasn't getting an apple that day.

The next morning, as I was emptying the dishwasher, my hand grazed the same knife, cutting the middle finger on my other hand.

Son of a...

Is it me or the knife? I mean, I know we're not supposed to put these knives in the dishwasher, but it can't possibly be mad at me for that, could it? I would think the knife would enjoy a little steam bath.

Stupid knife.  I mean, gooooood little knife.  Please don't hurt me.

So, over the past 3 days, my thumb has been bleeding on and off. And Band-Aids suck. They a) don't stay on if you get it the tiniest bit wet and b) don't stay on if you keep it dry (I'm pretty sure Johnson & Johnson won't be calling me to work for them anytime soon). I've gone through an entire box of Band-Aids, trying to keep the wound under control. Yesterday, I bled all over a top I was thinking about buying bought at the store.

And then, today, a miracle happened. My co-worker taught me the wonders of Krazy Glue. As I am not schooled in the history of Krazy Glue, he informed me that it was invented during WWII to bond body tissue. So, he glued my wound shut. His wife, a doctor, is not happy that he performed surgery on me, but I'm hoping she'll give me a shot of antibiotics for my future infection.

I've lost all feeling where the wound is, but at least I'm not going to bleed to death.