My favorite Halloween

Halloween is my third favorite holiday (Thanksgiving and Christmas are #1 and 2, respectively, [like you care]). I really looked forward to this Day of Free Candy every year as a child. Not the dressing up so much as the caaaaaaandy. As a lifetime member of Chocoholics Anonymous, you can imagine my pure happiness at the mere idea of getting my grubby little hands on those delicious mini Snickers and 3 Musketeers bars just by walking door to door in my neighborhood (good gravy, that was a long sentence). Why was this only a once a year thing?

Now that I'm an adult (boo), I can buy snack-sized candy bars whenever I want, but somehow, it's just not the same. I never have to look through my bag of candy for razor blades or crack cocaine (seriously, I grew up in a quiet Midwestern neighborhood, was that really necessary?).

Sigh.

Anyway, my 6-year-old is now in Kindergarten. Yesterday, the principal sent a note home with the kids, educating parents about "appropriate costumes" for the school's Halloween parade/party. Apparently, costumes that might scare the crap out of other children are a no-no. Speaking as someone who couldn't sleep for a week after watching "Thriller", I'm on board with that rule. Additionally, masks or anything that would inhibit children from seeing and/or breathing are also not acceptable.

Does she think we are idiots?

But, it made me think of my various costumes over the years. I'll admit, my mother wasn't one of those creative types. Love her, but she wasn't like my friends' moms who spent hours painstakingly sewing together coordinating outfits for their children. I have a terrible memory, so I'm sure I'm wrong about this and I'll get in trouble later, but I only remember being 3 things for Halloween:

• a gypsy (every year until I was 11 - and every year until I was 11, I would wake up the next morning with swollen eyes from the crack whore-amount of makeup [note: I don't know if crack whores wear a lot of make-up. Maybe I should say 80's-rock-band amount])
• a hippie (as a tween - and I put that outfit together myself [tie-dyed shirt and jeans - done!])
• a blue Crayola crayon

This was, by far, my favorite costume. And, I'm sure, my mother's biggest nightmare, as she spent hours painstakingly sewing together this costume to coordinate with my BFF, a red Crayola crayon.

Oh. Hey! My mom was awesome!

While my mother slaved over the sewing machine, my BFF and I made our gigantic crayon box out of yellow poster board, which we stood inside and held up with shoulder straps. Man, my BFF was we were creative! I was sure we were going to win for best costume in our school parade. But then little Timmy Trafficlight (note: not his real name) won for his costume as... a traffic light. Complete with working lights and everything. I mean, come ON! That kid didn't make that costume himself. He should have had points deducted. We used poster board! We made our mothers stay up late sewing! The contest was rigged. I'm pretty sure Timmy's too-involved parent paid off the... principal? Who was the idiot judge anyway?

Nevertheless, that was a pretty fun Halloween. I got to trick-or-treat with my BFF, attached as we were to our homemade crayon box. Our pillowcases were full of tasty treats. And, thankfully, no razor blades.

While we're on the subject of pillowcases full of candy... even now, I am baffled how my brothers were able to still have Halloween candy at Christmas. What was wrong with them anyway?!