Dude, where's my cat?

(disclaimer: I apologize to anyone I might offend, especially all you hoarders out there - it's a real disease)

So, the husband and I watched the best (and most horrifying) show in the world last night. It's called "Hoarders" on A&E. It follows the lives of people who keep everything. And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.

Including garbage.

And poop.

POOP, people! And they walk around barefoot through this garbage.

And POOP!

I know I shouldn't be laughing at their misfortune. By watching this show, I have learned that hoarding is a real disorder and they can't help themselves. But, this one lady? She was so awesome. She didn't think she had a problem. And she was mad at her daughter and son for coming in there to disrupt her mess. So, while these men in masks and gloves came in there to shovel out all her garbage (seriously, you couldn't pay me enough), she was complaining to the camera that she'll never be able to find anything now. hee. Although she did tell them that she was missing her teeth. And if they found them, please don't throw them away.

I told the husband that if the men found her teeth and she put them right into her mouth, we were changing the channel.

But the best part was when they found a dead cat (A CAT!) under her pile of garbage in the family room. She was sitting outside in her rocking chair, eating what looked like a raw hot dog (no bun), when her daughter came out to tell her they just found a cat. And the lady was all, "A cayat?!" (she's from Louisiana - just another reason Louisiana should NOT be #1 in the best states poll)

Man, that part was hysterical. Was she really surprised they found a dead animal? I was half expecting them to find her dead husband. The cat was as flat as a pancake.  My husband and I were crying, we were laughing so hard.

"There you are, Fluffy!"

Then?  They found another dead cat in the kitchen.

"And here's Mittens."

Aaanyway, the show ended with the house cleaned and the woman (sort of) appreciative. She cried when they got her a new recliner (the one and only time she showed any emotion other than anger), so I guess that's something. Her children don't expect this will last. So then... what was the point of the show?

I am not a hoarder, but I have been known to keep some things. Our house seems to be the breeding ground for paper.  From now on, though, everything is going in the trash. I almost got out of bed last night to dust and vacuum.

You won't find my cat under a pile of garbage (and POOP!), no sir.