Serves me right

A few weeks' back, we had a crappy Sunday.  It was cold and rainy and everyone was pretty crabby - kinda like today, which reminded me of this story.

On the weekends, the boys play with the neighbor kids (the 2 girls, in particular) who live behind us.  They usually play between the backyards, but, because it had been raining, the boys asked if the girls could play inside.  Of course, I selfishly said yes as I knew this would be a surefire way to have the TV to myself for an hour.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary while the girls were over.  After an hour or so, they went home and we went to dinner over my brother's house.  That night at dinner, we discussed how my niece is growing up too fast and I secretly (and out loud) said how grateful I am that I have boys instead of girls (this will be important later).   

After dinner, the boys came home, took showers, and got into bed, as usual. As I was tucking him into bed, my 5-year-old told me he had a seekwet (secret).  So, I leaned in real close as he told me the words I didn't know I was dreading to hear... until I heard them.

"(The 8-year-old) was kissing (our 8-year-old neighbor girl) behind the couch."

Me:


 Him:


Oh, crap.  I always knew this would happen.  And somehow, I always knew it would be the neighbor girl.  She's beautiful.  And?  Convenient.  But, did it have to start so soon?

I blame the hormones in our milk.  Or cable TV.

So, I dragged the 8-year-old out by his ear took the 8-year-old into our bedroom to have a little chat.

Me: You want to tell me what happened today?
Him:  With what?
Me:  With (neighbor girl)?
Him:
 
Me (waiting):  ...
Him:  Well, it's kinda hard to explain.
Me (in my head):  Yeah, I bet it is... to your MOTHER.
Me:  Well, why don't you try?
Him:  How did you find out?
Me:  Mommy knows EVERYTHING.  So just tell me what you did.
  
He then tells me that he kissed her.

And that my 5-year-old also kissed the 6-year-old neighbor.


Holy crap.  Were they having an orgy down there?  Why aren't I spying on them taking better care of these children?  Was this the first time?  Did they (horror upon horrors) do anything else?!

After a good talking to (which, by the way, was real hard to do with a straight face - don't judge me), I put the boys to bed at last.   And then sat on the steps to spy overhear their conversation make sure they went to sleep like the good little angels they are.

8-year-old:  Mom knows what happened in the basement.
5-year-old:  Yeah, I know.  I told huwa (her).
8YO:  DUDE!
5YO:  Just kidding.
Me:  (stifling laughter)
8YO:  Do you think they have some kind of video camera in the basement?
Me:  (Yes, keep thinking that.  As a matter of fact, that's a GREAT idea!) 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be downstairs installing that video camera.