Sandy has nothing on the natural disaster known as the mall

Last night, my girlfriend and I took our children to the mall for trick-or-treating.  At the time, it seemed like a good idea.  I was sure trick-or-treating on Halloween was going to be miserable with the rain and I wasn't about to let the boys out in that.  So, I figured some candy was better than no candy.

I was wrong.  So very wrong.

Forget the storm outside, this place was the real shitstorm.  I had never seen the mall like this for Halloween.  And I worked in the mall for years.  My girlfriend and I gave each other a look, but trudged onward anyway.  I mean, we had gotten the little people into their costumes and out into nasty weather conditions.  We were getting something out of it. 
As a public service announcement, I will inform you that mall candy sucks.  (You're welcome.)  I don't know who bought the candy for these stores, but a breath mint from your purse does not constitute chocolate Halloween candy.  Where were the snack-sized Snickers bars?  The mini Twix bars?  What was I going to take from the boys while they were sleeping??  We watched a child spit out his mint onto the (mall) floor.  And the mother?  Did nothing about it.  I guess she figured mints suck as treats, too.

While waiting in the extremely large line for our mint, we (slooooowly) passed by a convenience store.  I almost went in there to get each of the kids a real candy bar (and had about 10 minutes to contemplate).  I mean, some of these places didn't even give out mints.  They gave out stickers.  That said, "I just bought new shoes." 

And fuck you trick or treat to you, too.

Also, for our (read:  not my) entertainment, we slooooowly passed by Victoria's Secret.  The boys open-mouth stared at those images of women in their underwear for the 5 minutes we waited outside the store.  At least they got an education?  I don't know.

My brilliant husband stayed home to install a battery backup for our sump pump.  I think he got the better end of the deal.  Well played, dear husband.

The good news is that trick-or-treat has been postponed in our city until Sunday.  So, I'll the boys will get Halloween candy after all!  And you can bet I will remind my girlfriend of this experience when she suggests it again next year. 

No.  No, we won't be going.