Stupid Bachelorette show

So, I have watched reality TV from the very beginning. Think what you will, but I find people fascinating. Why they want to be on TV in the first place when they know people like me are judging them is beyond me. Is the longing for fame that great? And fame, fine, but what reality TV show contestant has become anything more than a joke afterward? If you want fame, do something tremendous for mankind. Cure cancer or something.

So, I was sitting here tonight, watching The Bachelorette. I know the show is a sham. People don't find love on this show. One marriage out of 25 proposals does not a successful love story make. But, I watch because, like I said, people fascinate me. And the people who come on this show are train wrecks and are highly entertaining to see in action.

But tonight, I was annoyed. I don't know if it's just because Ali is the worst actress ever or they have tried too hard this season to create drama that it's beyond tedious. I'm uninterested in any of the guys, I yell at the TV so much that my cat is now afraid of me, and I am pissedoff that these fools get to travel around the world and stay in fancy hotels just because they're on this stupid show.

Oh. Well, maybe that's why they chose to be on this show. Fine whatever.

Here are my observations from tonight.

• Number of times the word "amazing" was used: 126 162

• Why do they pretend these "events" are spontaneous? I assume the cameras are with these guys a lot, but do the guys really have to feign surprise that something big is happening? Dude, 6 cameramen are there to capture all your responses at once. Let's not treat the viewers like they're idiots.

• What is with the focus on "being here for the right reasons?" What are the right reasons? Love? Ha!

• Why don't some of these guys realize how much Ali is not into them? Ty? Craig R? I'm looking in your direction. Craig, if she didn't kiss you, she's just not that into you. She has kissed everyone. Everyone else. If she's looking away each and every time you look at her, she doesn't want you to kiss her. Have a little self-respect and dial it down a notch. I get that you think you're the perfect guy for her and all, and you just might be, but get a clue. If she's not taking her clothes off for you like she is with the others, you don't stand a chance.

• Dude, Frank is going to lose his sheet. He just said that he only wants to propose once, only wants to get married once. Then... why go on an effin' show like this?! The track record for happily ever after on this show isn't so great. Also? You can't freak out every time she's with another guy. It's the nature of the show. You knew that going in. Get a grip.

But, even though I'm annoyed, the scenes from the next couple episodes look pretty interesting (I'm sure, in the end, they won't be). I think they did that on purpose because the last couple episodes have been so insipid, I have wanted to stab myself in the eye with a fork. At least twice.

But, I'll watch. Fine, you ABC bastards. You win.