God, I hate winter

So I made it through January. Barely.

We're on the 4th day of February and I think I'm going to lose it.

I'll admit we had it pretty good in January. There weren't very many bitterly cold days, the snow was at a minimum. I kind of figured we were over the hump. The days are already getting longer... we've made it through the snowiest month (historically speaking)... Spring is on its way, right? Right?

But then that damn groundhog. Can't he just, for once, not see his effin' shadow? You know, if you believe that kind of thing. I honestly don't know if that little rat is accurate. All I know is that I heard 6 more weeks of winter-like weather and wanted to kill someone.

(But, in my defense, I would only kill someone who really deserved it. Like the guy who cut me off the other day or my brother who left the toilet seat up in MY. OWN. BATHROOM.)

Okay, so maybe I have that Seasonal Affective Disorder. I'm SAD. I always thought it was a made up disease, like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Mononucleosis (which are just a fancy words for lazy).

I had a friend who would get "happy pills" every winter from his doctor. I'm liking that idea. Who doesn't want happy pills? I have been eating oranges for weeks now, thinking the citrus scent might fool my brain into thinking we're in Florida or something. It kind of works, too. But then I look outside and see the stupid snow. A pill may be just what I need to forget I live in Cleveland - a city that gives its inhabitants about 30 days of sunlight a year.

Speaking of sunlight, I was at the vitamin store yesterday and the man behind the counter went on a 10-minute tirade about the importance of Vitamin D (which is provided by the sun, by the way). Apparently, there's an epidemic of Vitamin D deficiency in the world. I told him I take a multivitamin and he went off again, telling me my multivitamin isn't giving me nearly enough Vitamin D.

(sidenote: I've heard this speech before - that a multivitamin doesn't give you nearly enough of the vitamins you need. So, what is its purpose exactly?)

This man boasted that he takes 2,000 (what do they use to measure vitamins? Units?) a day. And the manager said he takes 4,000. I read an article today that says we're supposed to get 5,000 units a day, so even these guys suck. And they have free access to the stuff every day! I should have lied and told him I took 10,000 a day just so I could buy what I wanted and get the hello out of there. Live and learn.

I hear exercise might help get me through the funk. But my idea of exercise in the winter is either running my mouth, channel surfing on TV (after all, we have American Idol and the Bachelor to watch), or dancing in my car.

So, to sum up, the weather sucks, I'm not getting enough vitamins, and I refuse to exercise because everyone else is doing it. I'm screwed.

Oh, eff it. Just give me some chocolate and alcohol and wake me when it's May.