A battle between good and lazy

You guys?  Parenting is hard.  I love them both so much, sometimes I think my hugs will pop their heads clean off.  And, of course, I worry all the time that we're doing a terrible job and, someday, it's all going to come back and bite us in the ass.   

We have good days, bad days and Epic Fail days around my house.  It's a slippery slope we're on every single day.  Who knows what kind of humans we're molding?  A day can change everything.  They're either going to cure cancer and, in honor, name the cure after us or blame us for everything wrong in their lives, put us in a dilapidated nursing home and NEVER.  SEE.  US.  AGAIN.  Or... you know, something in the middle.  The most we can hope for is that they turn out to be a better version of us.

And maybe they'll visit me at a (bright, happy) nursing home on Mother's Day.

Yesterday, the planets aligned and we had one of those days where, if Parenting were a class, I would've gotten an A.

Okay, A-/B+.

It started off like any other day.  We woke, we ate, we watched TV played enriching games to stimulate their brilliant minds.  My brother was in town this weekend, so we invited the family over for brunch.

While we were busy getting the food together, the boys started fighting over The Blanket.  This is the coveted blanket in our house.  Everyone wants it.  So, last Christmas, I bought us another Blanket to end the fighting.  Unfortunately, my little monsters took the second blanket to the basement and now there's only one on the main floor.

Me (to 8-year-old):  Go downstairs and get the red one.
Him:  NO.
Me:  Uh, yes.
Him:  NO.  No, no, no, no, no!

Oh, I wasn't having any of that shit this morning.

Me:  Either go downstairs and get the blanket or go to your room.
Him:  (nothing.)

Then the husband stepped in.

I love my darling husband.  Really, I do.  But, he has a tendency to, um, overpromise and underdeliver on threats.  For example, he'll say things like, "Do it or you're grounded for a month."  And then let the kid off the hook an hour later because it's haaaaaarrrd to enforce punishments.

Now, it's no secret I lazy parent.  I love my boys more than anything, but I admit I have a hard time staying engaged.  There's only so many Epic Battles Mommy can have a day.  Aaaand Mommy likes her Facebook and Pinterest.

I'm all for extreme punishments when warranted.  You intentionally cut your little brother with a shiv you've made out of a Lego piece?  You get points for creativity, but you're grounded (and may require possible stint with a child psychologist for anger management).  But, grounded for a month for not doing me a favor?  Probably not.  

Anyway, the husband stepped in and grounded the 8-year-old.  For the entire day.  Mostly because the 8-year-old kept talking back.

(finger wagging) Oh no, he di'n't.

So, fine.  Kid was grounded for the day.  And guess what?  We enforced it!  All!  Day!  (fist pump!) He was allowed to eat (and even then, it was only bread and water, damit), but he stayed in his room all day.  I even made him start on continue his summer homework!  Of course, this probably wasn't a good idea in retrospect (hence, the B+ grade I've given myself), because I don't want him to associate homework with punishment.  But, he likes to write (love that about him!), so I had him write about his favorite summer day.

Surprisingly, he didn't pick this day.

At 5:00, we let him have his freedom, as promised.  Lately, I've been trying to instill the idea of "good choices".  After talking it over, he agreed that he probably made a poor decision by not helping me out and would do it differently if he could.

Score:  Good Parenting 1, Lazy Parenting 0.

While Kid #1 was in prison, I invited Kid #2 to take a bike ride with me.  My 5-year-old has worn the training wheels on his bike to the metal.  To add to that, he doesn't even use them.  Every once in a while, you'll hear the metal scrape of those wheels as he rides.

Me (to 5-year-old):  Let's take the training wheels off.
Him:  No.
(side note:  why was everything a no today?!)
Me:  Yes.  Let's just try it.  If you don't like it, we'll put them back on.  (Read:  We are NEVER putting them back on.)
Him (after thinking for a minute):  Okay.

Enter husband (because I don't know how to use tools).  He took the wheels off, pushed the 5-year-old to get him going and off went the 5-year-old into the wild blue yonder!

Me:  Wait!  Come back!

We took a ride around the block.  The kid is a natural.  He strut around the house like a rooster, telling everyone, "I can wide a two wheelew."

Score:  Good Parenting 2, Lazy Parenting 0.

Today, on the other hand, started off good.  We played a couple math games (no, really!) and several rounds of Uno, but then it all fell to shit because I?  Touched the computer.

Now, the children are running amok and I'm too engrossed in my story here to bother with it.

5-year-old:  Mom, can I have some milk?
Me (distracted):  Sure.  You're big enough to lug the 2-gallon jug off the top shelf of the fridge, right?  And then pour into a cup, right?  No?  Well, be creative.

So:

1.  5-year-old (in PJs too small for him) loudly dragging kitchen chair across the room to fridge (me giving him the stink eye for interrupting my train of thought).
2.  Can't open fridge door because chair is in the way.
3.  Pulls back chair.
4.  Opens fridge door.
5.  Pushes chair back.
6.  Grabs 2-gallon jug of milk.
7.  Drops 2-gallon jug of milk.
8.  2 gallons of milk everywhere.

Okay, that's not what really happened.  However, I've been in front of the computer a while and it's awfully quiet around here.  I should go looking for them...

Score:  Good Parenting 0, Lazy Parenting 1,000,001