Thursday, January 31, 2013

Superpowers would be awesome

My boys love movies about superheroes.  Superman, Batman, Iron Man (RDJ, call me!).  Currently, our favorite is the Avengers.  So, the other night at dinner, the boys and I had a heated discussion about what superpowers we’d pick if we could. 

5-year-old: I want to bwow tings up (naturally) or have supewspeed!  I could get pwaces supewfast.  Watch!  (we watch him run from the kitchen to the family room and back.)
Me:  Wow, that was superfast!
8-year-old (a little more mature):  I’d like to fly.  Or, actually, I'd rather control the elements. 
Me (totally not mature):  I’d like to be invisible!  Or, oooooh, control minds!!

In my opinion, there are pros and cons to each of these powers.  With great power comes great responsibility, mIright Spiderman?

Blowing things up

Pro:  You can blow things up.

Con:  You probably shouldn’t blow anything up.  No matter how much your brother deserves it for stealing your Legos.  It’s just not nice.

Superspeed

Pro:  You can get to places, like Dairy Queen or Toys R Us, pretty fast.

Con:  You run the chance of missing your exit on the highway.  It’s a real pain in the rear (and illegal) to make U-turns and waiting for the next exit could take miles and, even though you’re superspeedy, you’re wasting all this time with U-turns and whatnot when you probably would’ve gotten there in the same amount of time had you just used your regular speed.       

Flying

Pro:  I mean, you can FLY.  I’d never be afraid of an airplane again (unless, of course, said airplane was headed straight for me while I was flying). 
Con:  With the price of airline tickets these days, people would be begging you for rides everywhere.

Controlling the elements

Pro:  Well, if he could make the sun shine all throughout the winter season, I’d be all for it.

Con:  He already has the ability to create tornadoes through his bedroom, I don’t think I need any more destruction.

Invisibility

Pro:  Who wouldn’t want this?  Imagine being able to go wherever you wanted, whenever you wanted, without being noticed?  Like Target?  In the middle of the night?  Awe.  Some.

Con:  You’d probably hear things about yourself you don’t really want to hear.  “Lea isn’t funny” isn’t on my top 10 list of things I want to know about me.

Controlling minds


Pro:  I could make anyone do what I wanted.  I could make the boys clean up after themselves!  I could make my husband see that my redecorating ideas are pure brilliance!  (New kitchen floors are a great idea!)  The world would listen to my every whim!  Who needs shoelaces when velcro is so awesome!  4-day work weeks!  Hibernation!  Snickers as a food group (it has protein)!  I could get my Starbucks for free! Every day!  The world could be mine!  Bwahaha!

Con:  No.  There is no con to this.

Who do you have to call to get one of these powers?

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