For sale: Cat

7-year-old calico in desperate need of a home. Calicos are, by nature, a birth defect, but don't let that sway you. Just because she hisses at everyone (except the 2 that feed her), bites the 2 that feed her (lovingly, of course), continuously misses the litter box, and coughs up hairballs on new carpeting, she really is a devil sweet cat.

When the children go to bed, she comes out of hiding to sleep around your neck like an expensive (and warm) fur stoll.  Not sure if this is meant to suffocate her victim or not, but, if it is, she's not very good at it, so not to worry.

Additionally, she likes to talk. She meows to tell you her food dish is empty. She meows to tell you her litter box needs cleaning. She meows to tell you there's another cat outside. She meows in her sleep (which sounds like barking and makes the children laugh). She meows to tell you it's 6:30 am. And if the meow doesn't wake you up, a friendly nip to your ear sure will.

In cases such as this, she's really telling you she likes to fly. When she bites you out of a sound sleep, she's telling you she wants to be thrown like a football towards the bathroom. When she jumps onto the counter, she's telling you she wants to be tossed into the family room. She almost always lands on her feet.

If interested, please comment below. I can duct tape her to a milk crate and ship her off today.