Why do we do this to ourselves?

It's the night before Valentine's 
and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring...
Except for the idiot mother who waited until the last possible second whose mind is a-whirring,
And eyes are a-blurring,
And, because of the wine, her speech is a-slurring.

I had every intention to get on top of things this year.  Because I suck at this stuff, I usually find myself the night before Valentine's Day, cajoling a whining child to sign his name to 25 Valentines.   I really really appreciate that Target sells these nice (read:  easy) little Valentine ensembles, with the candy already included.  All the kid has to do is sign.  his.  name.  Easy, right?

Wrong.

How hard is it to sign a damn name?  Good grief, you'd think I was asking him to sign his life over to the Dark Side or something.

At this point, he'd probably rather do that.

This year, my darling sister (love her!) wanted to do something cute with the older kids.  Homemade Valentines!  Because, at this age, what kid doesn't like homemade... anything, really?  Forget the box of Star Wars Valentines with the glow-in-the-dark light sabers!  Or the ones with Fun Dip.  Kids don't like candy!    

To be fair, the Valentines she made for the 8-year-old were adorable.  They're space-themed, each kid gets a bouncy ball (that represents a planet).  Neat, right?

Again, wrong.

For one thing, the dambouncy balls don't stay put.  So, we had to tape them in.  Guess what?  We ran out of tape (from 2 tape dispensers).  So, I told him to just shove the balls in their holes (wow, ew) and, if they come out before he hands out his Valentines, he can just stick them back in.  I mean, what else can we do?  He's not happy, but that's what you get with homemade.

Reminder for next year:  Go.  To.  Target.

Additionally, I'm the mom helper for the 5-year-old's Valentine's Day party.  Great, right?  

I spoke with the other mom helper and we agreed to divide and conquer.  She was going to come up with a game, I was going to get a craft.  We would split the snacks.

About a day ago Last week 2 weeks ago, I finally got around to checking checked out my old friend, Pinterest (still love that Pinterest!) for a craft idea.  I was sure I'd find something quick and easy.  But, you know, life happens (read:  I got lost in the Hunger Games trilogy) and I had to beg my sister to find the quick and easy something for me.  And, of course, she did (bless her).  All it takes is some paper plates, construction paper, googly eyes and glue.  I can do this.  I have paper plates.  I have construction paper.  I know I have googly eyes in the house.  Somewhere.

Of course, I can't find the dameyes.  I still had to get the damsnack for the party (damn you, Hunger Games [said while shaking fist]!), so I dragged the boys out shopping tonight after dinner (after I wrapped up book #2).  2 hours, 3 stores, and no googly eyes later, I got home and called my mother.  And?  She had googly eyes!  And?  Since my brother was already over there, she had him drop them off!  But?  Her eyes aren't the sticker ones.  Which means, of course, they won't stick with any amount of glue, I don't care what anyone says.

Big sigh.

I still have to cut out the body parts for this stupid craft that the little people can unsuccessfully glue onto their plates, pack up everyone's valentines into their respective bags, make sure I put the party snacks somewhere I won't forget (which, most likely, won't work and I'll have to turn around in the morning to get them, thereby not allowing me a Starbucks before school) and still find something red for everyone to wear tomorrow.  Because we've got that lovin' feeling!
  
Happy damValentine's Day!